


half filled hearts

by Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon



Series: Selcouth: strange, unordinary, rare but marvelous [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, John's POV, Multi, Poor bbs, Sorry Not Sorry, boys(and Laf) in love, i'm a monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-07 05:12:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19202578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon/pseuds/Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon
Summary: John's view of "helpless hearts"aka john is never satisfiedbut he's content





	half filled hearts

When John first met Alexander Hamilton, he didn’t know what to think. Alex was at least four inches shorter than John, had wild, long brown hair that hung just above his shoulders, and the most determined, wild-fire like eyes John had ever seen.

He felt himself falling in love with him within the week. Their first semester of college together was a wild one- drinking, bar fights, and the most nasty hangovers John had ever experienced. But it was alongside Alexander, and John could never regret anything when it came to him. He never was a tame one anyway, now he just had a partner in crime for his shenanigans.

Yes, John has loved Alexander for almost the entire time he’s known him, but he’s known he’s polyamarous since highschool and when he- literally- ran into Lafayette in his and Alex’s favorite coffee shop, he couldn’t help himself. Laf was as charming as John could have ever imagined anyone to be and John felt his heart melt like butter under their steady gaze.

If being around Alexander was like standing next to a wild-fire, soaking up the heat,  not caring if you got burned because it was so exhilarating and strangely familiar that you felt yourself melting into the heat, becoming a part of something so wonderful you never want to escape. If Alexander was all this, than Lafayette was roasting marshmallows and making smores next to a campfire, laughing with chosen family, upbeat music playing in the background, just loud enough to be heard but quiet enough as to not make conversation impossible.

Yes, John loved them both so much and was relieved when Laf felt the same way about Alex as John did. He remembers the day he told them perfectly.

 

_ It was about two months since John and Laf first started dating, and John couldn’t keep it a secret any longer, so he braced himself for the worst and opened his mouth. _

_ “Laf, babe, there’s something I need to tell you.” Laf looked at him curiously from their dorm’s couch. John chose to tell him at Laf’s dorm, instead of his own so there was no chance of Alex walking in randomly. He did not want to explain this to both of them. There was no way he was losing them both, especially at the same time. _

_ “What is troubling you, mon cher?” _

_ “One sec.” then John kissed him, just in case he never got the chance to again after this. _

_ “Mon cher?” Laf said after John broke the kiss, “You are scaring me. What’s going on.” _

_ “Nothing bad, at least I don’t think so, but you might think it is and I needed to do that one last time in case if you do and-” a look from Laf cut John’s rant off and he sighed, looking at his lap. “The thing is, I’m polyamarous, have been since highschool, and I’ve been in love with Alexander, pretty much the entire time I’ve known him. I know this is probably weird for you. I’m not planning on acting on it- Alex is my best friend and I don’t want to lose him after all, but also because I really like you and don’t want to lose you either. If this is too much for you and you want to break things off I completely understand but just know that-” _

_ “Mon cher,” Laf interrupted, smiling like the sun was just handed to him- wait what?! Why was Laf smiling? Did he want an excuse to break up with him that badly? Wait, focus John, your datemate is speaking. _

_ “I have no intention of breaking up with you. Especially because of this, that would be hypocritical, no?” Wait what? “I really like petite Alexandre as well and am quite relieved that this will not be an issue.” _

_ “Oh thank God.” John gushed, “I guess that means I can do this again?” Then he kissed them. Things were far from perfect, they still had an unrequited crush after all, but they still had each other and this was enough for now, half filled souls or no. _

Then John met Hercules, and he fell for him too. Hercules was like baking. Mixing everything together and putting it in the most beautiful and perfect, or perfectly, messily beautiful, way possible. Hercules put passion into everything he did, much like the other loves of John’s life. Their first date, Herc, Laf, and his, he brought them to a small pizza place that he said he grew up going to, he was so cute

John had to kiss his cheek.

John and Laf made sure to tell him from the beginning that they love Alex, and Herc said that he thought Alex was cute. And so John’s half- filled heart filled up a little bit more, and he was content.

The three of them had meetings every once and awhile at either Laf’s or Herc’s apartment to rant and gush about Alex. sometimes they argued about who had been inflicted by his cuteness the most. John always won those arguments, as he lived with Alexander and had to deal with ALL of his cutest moments.

But John could never regret anything involving any of his three loves. Except going at it with his signifs when he thought Alex was at the library, and turned out to be very much, NOT at the library.

  
  


John was shaken out of his bliss  **(AN: did I seriously just write that fml)** by a door slamming shut.

“Shiitake mushrooms, loves, I think Alex is home.” the three listened for a moment, but no further sounds came from outside the room. Then Laf got a panicked look in their eyes.

“Oh no, guys, what if Alex was…  _ already _ home and he just left?”.

The three scrambled to get their clothes on and get out of the room. Sure enough, Alex’s laptop and coat were gone, but his bag was at his desk, a sure sign he had been home… and was not now.

“Oh mon dieu, guys we messed up.” Herc and John just nodded, too humiliated and guilty to speak.

 

It was now midnight and the smaller man still had yet to return home. Needless to say they were all panicking, especially John.

“Guys, it’s been hours, we should go look for him, maybe he got hurt or fell asleep somewhere. We’ve gotta make sure he’s okay.” the other two nodded and together they made their way out of the dorm and down the street to look at Alex’s favorite coffee shop.

They were about three blocks away when they heard a scream. The three looked at each other and spoke in unison, “Alex.”. They broke into a run and heard speaking.

“What do ya ‘ant.” the speaker was clearly drunk and John’s eyes widened as they came into view.

There, in the middle of the sidewalk, was a man. He was clearly drunk and had a person pressed up against him. That figure, John realized, was Alexander.

The strange man had Alex pressed up against his front and had his hand over his mouth and unfastening his belt. They were facing away from John, but he could tell from Alex’s rigged shoulders and the way his feet, dangling off the ground, were squirming, that the smaller man was terrified. John’s vision went red. 

Hercules spoke before John got the chance.

“Let go of him now.” he demanded.

“An why shol I listen to you?”

“Because there are seven of us,” John chimed in, “and one of you.” the exchange went on until the man dropped Alexander and tried to run away, but Hercules tackled him before he got far. One of the four girls, whom John had barely noticed before, called the police. John noticed all this vaguely as he and Laf caught Alex, who had started to drop after the man let go of him.

Alex sobbed as the two held him, burying his head into their sweatshirts, holding onto them just as tightly as John, and surely Laf as well, was.

Hercules carried Alex home after the police showed up, the girls that were there gave Laf their numbers, and they swore to give them to Alex once he got some sleep. The three of them Held Alex as he cried, their hearts breaking a little more as they did, wanting to erase the memory from their precious Alex’s head, but remaining unable and with the knowledge it was partly their fault. They apologized later but Alex insisted they were absolutely not to blame.

They all got extremely overprotective over Alex then, refusing to let his go anywhere alone for the next week, and eternally forbidding to let him stay anywhere alone past nightfall.

Maybe they were over reacting, and they worried that they were being suffocating, but Alex wasn’t complaining, so they didn’t take it back.

It was nights like these, nights that they all cuddles up, that John thought most seriously about telling ALex he loved him, but he shot it down everytime. 

He and his half filled heart would survive.


End file.
